My Mistake Was Not Telling You
by perishedlove
Summary: Sesshomaru is having reoccurring dreams about a certain brother so he goes to the river to find some peace. What he finds, is help. SessInu YAOI Incest not SessKag.


Touch. His fingers grazed over the warm grass and flowers that surrounded his body every which way. He could touch outside his slumber, which meant he was dreaming. The demon lord forced his eyes to open away from the picture still playing behind his eyelids.

It had been another dream. Almost the same actually. And again he had woken up by touching something around him and realizing his fantasy wasn't real. He craned his neck to look upwards at a branch of the tree behind him in contempt. And again he had fallen out of the branch he was sleeping in during his rest. He looked outward around him at the sun coming up over the tree line and casting gold across the pale blue sky. It seemed so calm here, though Sesshomaru knew of the demons that lie just beyond a few trees.

**_We all want to make a place in this world  
We all want our voices to be heard  
Everyone wants a chance to be someone  
We all have dreams we need to dream_**

He cast a glance toward his young ward, Rin, and his servant, Jaken. The toad demon and girl were huddled into themselves and still sleeping soundly, the way the youkai seemed to find them every morning. He ran an exasperated hand through silky silver locks and stood shakily, still thinking of the things he'd seen only in sleep.

His feet began to walk away from his group toward a river. He thought maybe it could calm him down a bit and let his mind clearly think for a moment. His thoughts raced though his head one after another, the next even more confusing than the previous. _Am I getting weaker? Are these dreams a sign or something? Why was he there anyway? _

**_Sweeter than any star you can reach  
Is when you reach and find you found someone  
You'll hold this world's most priceless thing  
The greatest gift this life can bring_**

Golden eyes. Silver hair. Kind heart. Clever mind. Soft skin. Bold attitude. His outstretched hand, so close yet so far. It was a sequence. Eventually the memories would go away and stop constricting his mind.

A smile. A laugh. A look. Another smile. The face in his head kept running through these things again and again, making sure the Lord of the Western Lands would not forget it. Finally he came to the river. He splashed some of the extremely cold water onto his face and rubbing it around in a vain attempt to free himself from his mind. When he thought he was done with wetting his face, he jumped into a tree behind him and pulled one knee to himself, letting the other dangle below. The rising sun sent shadows creeping through the trees and they even covered Sesshomaru to the point you couldn't tell it was the full demon himself.

**_Is when you look back and know  
You were loved_**

Suddenly as he continued to think, he heard a twig crack below him and looked downward to see Inuyasha's ningen girl getting water from the stream. He smirked a bit and was about to draw one of his swords just to make his brother angry to see the girl dead when she began to sing softly in a whispery tone:

"_Dream me up something beautiful tonight  
__Just because the stars seem pretty and my feelings seem right  
__Have some comfort in sleep that you could never find  
__And wake me up at sundown so I don't fall behind_

_Listen to your breath fall slowly over my skin  
__You didn't need to ask for my heart to let you in...  
__Creamy peach has replaced those golden eyes  
__And even as we lie under the blue sky..._

_I can feel your heart beat against my outstretched hand  
__And even as the sun keeps falling over the green land...  
__It's in these moments I see your true colors shine through  
__Believe it or not, you're a lovely hue_

_Such deep eyes drenched with sleep you have  
__Such a tired expression I almost laughed  
__And even though we're so far apart...  
__And I can still feel that tug at my heart..._

_And I know it's not the way it should be...  
__And even if we can't see each other's dreams...  
__And even though I know what you're thinking of...  
__I can just as easily say I'm in love"_

The girl had tears in her chocolate brown eyes by the time she finished with the song and her hands were shaking. The canteen in her hand was long forgotten as she dropped it in the dirt and fell to her knees sobbing. Sesshomaru stared for as long as he could until he wanted to gag.

**_You were loved by someone  
Touched by someone  
Held by someone  
Meant something to someone_**

"Girl, what are you crying about?" His voice came out ice cold and he noticed the girl flinch as she looked up with tearful eyes and hiccupped lightly. She wiped her eyes as she noticed the figure in the tree for the first time since she'd come to the river. She couldn't see their face because of the shadows over them, but she recognized the voice well.

"I-I'm crying because…well it's none of your business." She turned away to the canteen and proceeded to pick it up with fragile hands.

**_Loved somebody  
Touched somebody's heart along the way  
You can look back and say  
You were loved  
Yes you were, now_**

"I would like to know why. And I heard somewhere that speaking about your fears or woes…helps." He had time to waste and he was actually curious about his girl. And at the moment, she reminded him of himself, which disgusted him to an extent.

"Well, who are you? I'd at least like to know that much." She glared bravely at him through her almost black bangs. He flicked his hand toward her in a dismissive way.

"Does it really matter?" This seemed to be enough for the girl because she flattened her green skirt and sat on the nearest rock and stared out at the rushing water in contemplation before speaking.

**_You can have diamonds in the hands  
Have all the riches in the land  
But without love you don't really have a thing  
When somebody cares that you're alive_**

"I came to this time for completely different reasons than the reasons I'm here for now. I'm not only staying for the Shikon Jewel anymore. I'm here for someone else." Kagome sighed and pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. "I mean, sure I've made friends but…the person I'm staying for isn't much of a friend anymore."

This made Sesshomaru's blood boil suddenly. "So you hate this person then?" Obviously the lord knew whom this human spoke of. And he internally prayed that her answer was yes.

"No, in fact I think I love him." This made Sesshomaru's blood freeze in his veins. His brother…he probably was in love with this girl. And this girl…loved his brother. He didn't fit in to the equation. And this made him almost sad.

**_When somebody trusts you with their life  
That's when you know  
That you have all you need  
You hold this world's most priceless gift  
The finest treasure that there is_**

"Oh…" He was quiet for a moment as the breeze blew by softly, tickling his nose with the stray hair in front of his face. "And have you told him of your feelings yet?"

"No. I could never. He'd be so angry with me. All I can do now is dream." This gave him a bit of hope for his brother. Of course his hope was in vain and it was rather rude to the girl, but it was not like he was interested in humans anyway. Then the girl continued. "And even after I find the jewel shards and defeat Naraku…what happens then? I can't stay here; I'm not from this time. But what about Sango and Miroku? What about Inuyasha?" By this time she was sobbing again, her body shaking.

_**You can look back and know  
You were loved **_

She then looked up at him with unseeing eyes and a sad smile. "But this probably sounds like nonsense to you. You've got no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" But in reality, Sesshomaru knew exactly what she spoke of. And yet he had to pretend not to know her for he risked giving away his true identity and purposefully shaming his name.

"No, I can't say I do." Sesshomaru looked away from the girl and into the nearby trees. _What am I doing here with this girl, even speaking to her? Can this possibly be helping me in my current situation? Why do I feel like this? My heart…it suddenly feels like it's dying, crushing under the weight of long forgotten emotions and dreams. It hurts and yearns so desperately for help. My mind…it's as if it's been clouded by confusing thoughts I cannot decipher myself. I need…_

"Why are you here?" Kagome's voice rang out in his head breaking him off of his thoughts. _Help…_

**_Oh you were loved by someone  
Touched by someone  
Held by someone  
Meant something to someone_**

"I too, have problems of my own. Dreams of what could be haunt my consciousness in sleep. I can't escape from them." His words seemed so calm without its normal coldness and yet they seemed to scare this ningen sitting before him. She shivered and looked back to the river.

"Tell me…about the dreams. I'm a bit of a priestess, so maybe I can help." That word again. He suddenly became submissive and was prepared to tell her everything he saw when no one else could reach him.

**_Loved somebody  
Touched somebody's heart along the way  
You can look back and say  
Mmm yes you were, now_**

_Stars twinkled above him as he stared solemnly at the black clouds rolling across the pale moonlight. His honey eyes sparkled with pure love as he looked toward the sky in a daze. And I could to nothing but stare at this beautiful creature before me. _

_Silky silver hair spread out under his red clothed elbows as he leaned upon them. It caressed across his skin as the wind came rushing past us on the ground. Suddenly he turned to me with one of his smiles and he pressed his hand to my cheek and said something I couldn't hear. _

_Then he got up and ran away, turning around to see that I was following and flailed his arms out behind him so I could catch him. I caught his hand and brought him to a stop slowly, all the while his eyes never leaving mine. He leaned in with a fading smile and closing eyes but then stopped and gazed at the sky and shouted. "It's a shooting star! A shooting star! Make a wish quick, we can share it." _

_He closed his eyes and clamped our hands together as I stared bewildered at him for a moment and then did the same, hoping I still had my wish. We held on like this for a while until he opened his eyes and asked me a question. "What did you wish for?" I quieted and sighed. _

_"I can't tell you, not yet. But someday I will let you know." He smiled again and so did I. He then said something else I couldn't hear and disappeared from my vision and I was left alone. _

Kagome stared at him and another tear fell from her brown eye. "So, you do know who Inuyasha is. Then you must be someone I've met before. And you love him too. I can tell. Just from your dream I can tell you care about him very deeply and wish to see him again. And I think that dream, may not be a dream. I think it's a memory of long ago that you'd forgotten." She sighed. "You love him…"

**_So many roads that you can take  
Whatever way you go  
Don't take that road alone  
It's better you should know_**

Sesshomaru froze again. _You love him…_ Sesshomaru could only question himself at this point. Did he love his brother?

_He smiled again and so did I. He then said something else I couldn't hear and disappeared from my vision and I was left alone. "I love you, Sesshomaru." Tears fell on his cheeks, but they were not his own. "Stay…"_

_"Forgive me, Inuyasha…" And he let his brother slip away into complete darkness. _

Sesshomaru suddenly felt an unfamiliar feeling. It felt like he couldn't breathe. His heart tugged against his chest and seemed to almost burst. Then tears fell from his golden orbs into his hands. To Sesshomaru, it was the worst pain he'd ever felt in his life. It was like he was suddenly dying.

**_You were loved by someone  
Touched by someone  
Held by someone  
Meant something to someone_**

"Where is Inuyasha?" He managed to choke out between heavy breaths.

Kagome smiled sadly again. "He's gone to Totosai to ask some things about Tetsusaiga. I don't know when he'll be back."

Sesshomaru sighed. "Leave then. I no longer wish for you to be in my presence." Kagome obediently stood up and left, picking up the canteen on the way. Then she ran as fast as she could away from the spot.

But she turned around just in time to see the figure jump from the tree onto the hard ground after they thought she'd gone. And to her surprise, it was Sesshomaru. Inuyasha's own brother. She smiled a bit as she thought of the conversation she'd had with Inuyasah before he left.

**_Loved somebody  
Touched somebody's heart along the way  
You can look back and say_**

_"Inuyasha…I want to tell you something." Kagome itched her ankle with her other foot in awkwardness as she watched Inuyasha prepare to leave. _

_"Yeah, what do ya want?" He said roughly as he took up his sword and turned to face her. _

_"Inuyasha…who do you love?" This seemed to throw the hanyou off a bit as he turned a pretty shade of red and swatted a hand toward her. _

_"Nobody, stupid." This made Kagome only press on. _

_"But that dream you told me about…who was the other person in the dream, you never told me…?" Kagome was almost screaming by now. Inuyasha was in the middle of turning his back to her to leave when he suddenly stopped when those few words left her mouth. His one ear twitched in a bit of annoyance as he fully turned his back to her, trying to forget she was on the verge crying. _

_"No one important. It doesn't matter anyway. It's not like I can reach them now." Inuyasha began to walk away from the camp after saying those words. "I'll be back as soon as I can, alright? Tell Sango and Miroku when they wake up." And he was gone in a sprint. _

_And Kagome was left alone to ponder on who it was in the dream. He'd told her about it a million times just because she asked him to. It was a lovely dream after all. But after so many times of hearing it, she began to wonder if Inuyasha was in love with the other person in the dream. His eyes would glaze over and he'd smile just a bit when he told her about the dream. _

_Kagome used to think she was the one in the dream and that's why he didn't tell her. But now, one could never be too sure. And then Kagome realized she never even got to tell him what she wanted to. She turned in the direction Inuyasha went and called out for him, but it was no use. He was already long gone from her voice and sight._

Kagome did use to think she was the one in the dream, but after thinking about everything Sesshomaru said and everything Inuyasah said, it all came together. She was the one who didn't fit in the equation. She wiped tears from her eyes as she sank to her knees on the cold ground. So she was alone.

* * *

Sesshomaru swiftly jumped down from the tree limb landing gracefully on his feet. So maybe the human had helped him a bit. He began to walk back to the place he'd left Rin and Jaken as he continued to think over everything that had happened.

Could she have been right? Somewhere deep down, he felt that she was. But Inuyasha only had eyes for a ningen girl, just like his father. Flowers swept by his feet and he trudged onward through the trees back to the clearing he'd slept in the night before. How could he have been so blind as to not see it?

_**So remember to tell that special one  
You are loved...are loved...you are loved**_

He stopped dead in his tracks when the wind blew by, bringing him a most tempting scent. He smirked a bit as the scent got fainter and fainter, going away from him. He could see him later. It's not like he had a chance anyway. They were rivals and nothing could change that. Sesshomaru lifted his head to look ahead and kept moving, distancing himself even more from the one he loved so dearly.

"_Inuyasha, who do you love?" _

"_I love you, Sesshomaru…"_

_

* * *

_

**-PL**

**This is definitely one of my favorites. I like the memory/dream. I changed the song because the other one didn't fit. This one is by Whitney Houston. It's called You Were Loved. It refers to the memory/dream.**


End file.
